Today’s question is another one from lifehack.org – If you died now would you have any regrets?
Of course, I have regrets. So, if I died today I would certainly have some. I expect there are very few humans who have no regrets. We have choices to make and sometimes the choices we make have consequences we regret. Some of the things I regret cannot be undone. And, perhaps they don’t need to be undone; maybe they have led me down paths that have made me the person I am today. Perhaps some of the things I regret can be forgiven. I can apologize to the person I believe I’ve hurt and hope that they will forgive me. I may be able to mend things if not undo them entirely. And, then there are things I regret that I can change for myself. I didn’t pursue my art as a youngster so I can do it now. One is never too old, as the saying goes.
In terms of meaning-making and purpose-finding, for me this is the key to managing regret. Fix it. Do I regret not pursuing music? Yes, but given the circumstances in the deciding moment I can’t blame my fourteen year-old self for her actions. Do I regret not kissing Dave that afternoon we walked over the bridge through its underside? Yes, but I won’t blame my sixteen year-old self for her insecurities. (And, I made up for that by boldly smooching my favourite fella the first night he walked me home!) Do I regret not pursuing acting and directing? Yes, but given the circumstances at the time I don’t blame my eighteen year-old self. I will take the many lessons I have learned in the twenty-four intervening years and use them for art and life. And, I will continue to make mistakes, to have regrets, fix them and learn lessons. This is what it means to be human. As Ms. Frizzle says, “Take chances, make mistakes, get messy!”
What regrets do you have? Can you fix them? Would you fix them?
Be Lovely to Each Other,