Friday Essay – What do you secretly love about yourself?

This Friday’s question is another one from

stylish-old-ladyWhile I see what this question is getting at – sometimes we like things about ourselves that might not be popular – but I’m not sure why the thing I love about myself must be a secret.  Unless the thing you love about yourself is a secret super-villain identity, I don’t believe any thing you love about yourself needs to be secret.  That being said, the thing I love about myself that very few people would know is that I’m not really ‘nice’.  I get very passionate and fired up about things I care about.  I can get pissed off pretty quickly.  For the most part, I take time to rationally consider a situation and my feelings and thoughts toward it.  Usually, I then react with some compassion or I let it go altogether.   But sometimes I don’t let it go and sometimes there is not much compassion in my words.

What I like about this ‘not nice’ part of me is that she stands up for herself and/or others.  When I was  younger, though she didn’t come out often she was a bit harder to control.  Like the time in grade three I returned to the playground from lunch to find the class bully slamming my friend’s face into a railing.  No rational thought occurred, I simply grabbed the bigger girl by her hair, threw her down and started punching her.  As I got older I was better able to focus my ‘not-niceness’.  In grade twelve one of our assemblies turned out to be Christian proselytizing by some famous hockey player.  Sitting in the stands in a public high school with my Baha’i friend and other non-Christian students, I stood up and walked out.  I’m not exactly certain what happened after that but most of the other kids in the stands followed me and the principle apologized to the whole school the next day.

I try to employ my ‘not nice’ powers for good.  Now that I’m a grown up that typically means using my words to call out others’ bad behaviour.  I prefer being happy and fun and funny.  And, I think I spend most of my time that way.  When someone or something makes me frustrated and angry I do my best to alleviate and understand my feelings without lashing out irrationally.  I try to discover what I can learn from the situation and think about how much of my actions led to my anger and frustration.  I try to remember that most people’s behaviour – including my own – has more to do with them and how they’re managing a situation and their feelings than it has to do with me. So, I actually like the fact that I am not nice.  I will not be bullied, I will not roll over and I will stand up when I think something is wrong.  I hope that I only use this power when absolutely necessary and that no one gets hurt too badly.

What part of your personality might be unpopular but extremely valuable?  Do you have something about yourself you love secretly or do you wear yourself on your sleeve, so to speak?

Be Lovely to Each Other,