That is how I am feeling right now. I haven’t been writing and because I haven’t been writing I feel yucky and because I feel yucky I haven’t been writing …. spiralling down and down! And, I’ve had a few other things on my mind which I realized have been made worse by the fact that I have not been journalling. I am quite introverted and I find that I have a rich internal life – which often manifests itself as either depression or anxiety (fun). I have found that when I journal I often work through much of the crazy nonsense my mind comes up with. So, I haven’t been journalling which means I’ve been anxious and out of sorts. I haven’t been writing because I’m anxious and out of sorts. And, for another reason … well, this is my story and I’m sticking to it … my ridiculous perfectionist-procrastinator-ness. I never like to start things because I don’t believe I can do them perfectly. Eventually, I realize that ‘good enough’ is probably ‘good enough’ and get the thing finished, but I have trouble starting until I’ve moved through that cycle. I hope this blog post means I’ve reached the point where ‘good enough’ will have to be ‘good enough’. I mean, for pity’s sake, I’m just starting on the first draft of a first draft. I’m not writing a novel for the Queen or anything! So, that’s it [she says forcefully] I’m going to sit down tonight and write at least 700 words of a character sketch. That should be easy [she says less forcefully], I have a lot of thoughts about this character, I’m sure I’ll be able to write something that’s ‘good enough’. So, as soon as the pumpkins are carved (it will be Hallowe’en in North America tomorrow evening) I’m going to sit down and write a
super awesome pretty good first draft of something really cool mildly interesting my protagonist did as a young woman.
Aaarggghh! This is hard! Somehow, when I have something interesting of which I am proud, I know it will have been well worth it. Wish me luck!
Be Lovely to Each Other,